A place called Integrity
This morning, my son finished his breakfast and headed off to get dressed for school. I noticed him stop and hesitate. I could feel his unease and he turned.
“Mom, can we talk for a minute,” he asked and reached out, looking like the world was weighing on him.
“Of course my love. We can talk for more than a minute. What’s up?”
He then welled up and told me that while playing with his friends during lunch he’d thrown a stick and it had slightly damaged an old (already damaged) section of the school’s roof.
I paused and calmly said: “Well, first of all I’m really glad you’re telling me. How are you feeling about it?”
“I feel really bad.”
“Well, it’s good that you feel bad. It would be really bad if you didn’t care. What do you think you need to do?”
“I need to tell my teacher.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right. But do you feel scared?”
“Yes.”
“Why are you scared?”
“Because I’m scared they’ll make me tell the Principle what I’ve done and then they’ll make me pay for it.”
“Oh my love, I don’t know what they’ll say, and yes they may be angry, but I don’t think that’s what will happen. I think they’ll actually appreciate you being honest. They’ll appreciate that you care what you did. They’ll appreciate you taking responsibility…
And it’s not always the easiest thing to do at the time. But it’s the brave thing to do and the right thing to do. And it might not feel like it at the time, but it will always make your life better.”
He nodded, pensively.
“Here’s an example,” I added. “If you broke something of mine and tried to hide it or just didn’t care, when I eventually found out, I’d probably be really sad and angry. But if you came to me to apologise, I would still be upset about it, but I’d appreciate you being honest. And I think sometimes even though the thing itself can’t be fixed, honesty and apology can fix things in their own way. Does that kind of make sense?”
“Yes,” he said.
A little later, as he was leaving for school, he gave me a big hug and walked off. A little boy resolved to do what was right. A little boy not knowing that he was going to discover what the other side of fear feels like. A place called Integrity.